new heart med

My new medication, Digoxin, seems to be making me nauseous. I just haven't felt "right" for the past couple days. I know the fine print for every medication states that they can cause nausea. However, I don't usually have such a sensitive stomach when I take meds. Unfortunately, even taken with dinner the Digoxin seems to be making me feel queasy. I will say, though, that I do sense a difference in my heartbeat. I'm not noticing as many off-beats, and things feel more consistent. Hopefully I won't have to be on this med for too long. The more Dave and I talk, the more anxious we are for me to get an ablation and OFF meds.

When I was at home recovering from surgery back in August, there's a book I bought that really helped me relate to other CHD survivors. It's called "My Heart vs. the Real World" by Max Gerber. Obviously the majority of people treated for congenital heart defects are children - as that's when most defects are diagnosed. Thus, the book focuses on children and young adults. (However, keep in mind that CHD typically needs to be treated for a lifetime.) Regardless, the book gave me valuable insight. It's presented as a photo essay, which is actually what drew me to the book in the first place. I'm a very visual person.

I photograph my journey because when I look back I find strength in myself. If I see a glimpse of a smile on my face in a photograph where I'm in a hospital bed, it reminds me the next time around that I don't have to let a day in the hospital break my spirit. I want to remember what I've experienced - both because I'm not always fully aware (meds) and because it's as much milestone in my life as running a marathon - and the urge is to take a camera along is similiar to wanting to capture my nieces birthday on film. My journey has shaped how I've gotten to where I am.

Max does a great job at capturing these moments.

While flipping through the pages of Max Gerber's book, I see the looks on these children's faces. They're really fighting to live . . . and by live, I don't necessarily mean survive. I mean LIVE. You know, stop and smell the roses? If living with congenital heart disease has taught me anything, it's taught me not to take anything for granted, and to get as excited about a salted caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks as one might get excited about, say, a dinner at a 5 star restaurant. If you have CHD, go to Amazon and throw Max's book into your shopping cart. I promise it will ground you, and give you another ounce of strength.

Stop . . . and take a moment to really focus when you glance out the window. Don't just notice if it's raining, cloudy, sunny, etc. Look around, take in what you see. Is it windy? If it is, notice how the tree branches sway in the wind. Then, notice how the leaves ride on the branches. If it's snowing, try and focus on one snowflake and follow it to the ground. Take in the big picture, and appreciate everything that goes into it. It's amazing what can make you smile when you pause and really "experience".

I'll give myself a few more days to adjust to the Digoxin. I'm supposed to speak with my cardiologist after I've been on it a week, to discuss how I feel. Hopefully this is just a transition period and the neausea will soon pass.